Motherhood Burnout and the Shadows of Gaslighting

Motherhood, often painted on society's canvas as a pristine image of joy and fulfillment, harbors a less spoken about reality: the weighty challenge of burnout. From handling endless chores to managing the emotional and educational needs of children, mothers frequently find themselves stretched thin. Amid these challenges, an insidious element has crept into the narratives surrounding motherhood: gaslighting.

Gaslighting, a manipulative tactic where individuals are made to question their perceptions, emotions, and even sanity, has found its way into the experiences of many mothers. "It's just a phase," some say, or "Aren't you overreacting?" These remarks, while seemingly innocent, can instill doubt and guilt, further deepening a mother's sense of isolation and overwhelm.

Imagine a mother expressing her feelings of exhaustion and being met with responses like, "You chose to be a mother," or "Didn't your mother do it without complaining?" Such comments invalidate a mother's experiences and feelings. This gaslighting effect, whether intentional or not, can intensify the burnout by creating an environment where mothers feel they cannot openly express their struggles without facing judgment or disbelief.

The external pressures, from societal expectations to subtle, and sometimes not-so-subtle gaslighting, can push mothers to put on a brave face. It perpetuates a cycle where they feel forced to internalize their stress and fatigue. This suppression can lead to severe physical and mental health issues. Studies suggest that prolonged burnout can contribute to sleep disorders, depression, and even cardiovascular problems.

Apps like MamaZen offer a lifeline to those navigating the tumultuous seas of motherhood. Incorporating mindful exercises and mental health strategies, MamaZen serves as an oasis of calm and understanding. By providing tools to handle stress and navigate the maze of motherhood more effectively, apps like these play a pivotal role in bridging the gap between societal expectations and the realities of being a mother.

Addressing and overcoming gaslighting requires empathy and awareness. Here are a few empathetic strategies for those facing its effects:

1. Cultivate Self-compassion: During these challenging moments, remind yourself that you deserve respect and kindness. Your feelings and experiences are valid.

2. Find an Emotional Support System: Engage with understanding individuals or groups that offer a safe haven for your emotions and experiences.

3. Stay Grounded with Mindfulness: Grounding exercises, like deep breathing or simply feeling the earth beneath your feet, can bring clarity and connection to your reality.

4. Seek Empathetic Validation: Remember, it's okay to seek validation and assurance. Lean on trusted confidants who listen without judgment.

Awareness, understanding, and empathy can shift societal perspectives, helping to forge a world where mothers are supported, validated, and heard. Motherhood, in all its shades, is a profound journey, deserving of respect, understanding, and support. It's about time we move beyond outdated stereotypes and assumptions and start offering mothers the holistic support they not only need but also truly deserve.

Irin Rubin

Irin Rubin is a motherhood expert and the co-founder of the app MamaZen. Her passion is helping parents and their kids to live a happy and mindful life.

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