Contrary to what social media would like us to believe, motherhood isn't always a glamorous experience full of happiness, smiling babies, and picture-perfect families. Instead, it's often full of challenges, tears, and self-doubt because when a baby is born, so too is a mother.
And regardless of how much advice is out there, motherhood is a take-it-as-it-comes kinda gig that no one can totally prepare for.
So if you're caught in the grips of motherhood and doubting yourself and your parenting abilities
1.You are the BEST mom for your children.
Regardless of how you welcomed your children into this world, you are their mama! You have nurtured and loved them 24/7 since the day they came into your life, and no one can do it better than you!Stop doubting your abilities, and learn to trust yourself and your instincts. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to parent—instead, focus on doing what works for you and your family (so long as no one is being hurt in the process).
Know that you WILL encounter doubters, and people who are eager to judge you or give you advice along the way, and when you do pull a Taylor Swift and shake it off.
2. Your body is freakin’ beautiful.
It takes nine months to make a baby and hours or days to give birth. Yet, there's an unrealistic expectation that our bodies should revert back to normal a few weeks or months after giving birth. The reality is it takes two years, in some cases even more, for your body to fully recover from pregnancy and childbirth. Your worth isn't determined by how quickly you bounce back, so don't waste another second of your life stressing out about it!Furthermore, parts of your body might never be the same. Your breasts might be saggier, your feet larger, your skin stretchier...and that's okay! You created, birthed and are now raising a human being, and that's worth every scar, stretch mark and pound! Be kind to yourself and give thanks to your beautiful body for the incredible gift of life it gave you!
3. It’s okay to have a messy house.
You know how before kids it was SO easy to keep your house clean and organized while giving yourself ample "me" time? Yeah, well those days are long gone. At least while your children are young. And as a mom, you need to know it's OKAY to have a messy house! Try to find balance between a clean house, happy kids, and your sanity since you can’t have all of them at once. If you spend too much time worrying about every little detail, and getting frustrated or angry when your kids make a mess you'll drive yourself and your kids crazy. Rather than worrying about the toys scattered all over the floor, focus on watching you children enjoy being children, or even better play with them. It will remind you how much funner life was when you were a care-free kid.
4. Parenting with little to no sleep is normal .
Whether you're adjusting to life with a newborn, caring for a sick tot, or worrying yourself sick over your teenager, as a mom you will have sleepless nights. Lots of them. And guess what? During those trying times when you're tired and in desperate need of a caffeine fix you'll STILL be able to parent your kids because nature gave you a hidden superpower where you have the ability to function even when you don’t sleep—lucky you!
But don’t worry mama—sleepless nights don’t last forever!
Modern motherhood can be stressful and overwhelming. After all, moms these days do more than ever before.
We birth and raise our babies, work, pursue our passions, and try to maintain some semblance of self through it all. We’re pulled in a million different directions, often all at once, and sometimes we struggle to juggle all of our responsibilities.It’s okay to feel overwhelmed—if you never felt overwhelmed that would be weird! Mom life has its challenging days, and when the going gets tough don’t try to put on a brave face. Instead, admit to yourself how you’re feeling, and give yourself a freakin’ break! Modern motherhood can be stressful and overwhelming. After all, moms these days do more than ever before. Even superheroes need to rest! ;)
If you’re due for a much-needed mental break, then click here for a FREE MamaZen mindfulness meditation session! Get recharged.
6. You are appreciated and loved.
Your kids LOVE and appreciate you, and they have their own ways to show it! Coos, smiles, laughs and snuggles are some of the various ways your little ones say, "I love you, mama!" And even though sometimes your kids irritate and frustrate you, remember that they love you and just want to see you happy! In fact, they follow your cues to understand your mood and imitate you.
When you feel good, they feel good.
That's why the best gift you can give your children is your happiness because their environment is the biggest predictor of their future mental health and happiness. Happy parents = happy children.
7. It’s good to be tough and consistent.
It's good to be tough and consistent with your kids! Saying no isn't a bad thing—in fact, tough love will help your children deal with disappointment later on in life without falling apart. Try not to be wishy-washy with whatever rules your enforce, instead make sure both you and your partner are on board with the same message so there's no gray area and your kids know exactly what to expect.
8. You are not alone.
No matter what you're going through, or how difficult things seem right now, know that you are not alone. There are countless other mamas who have been through or are going through the same challenges and struggles as you. Take solace in knowing you're part of a strong community of women and don't be afraid to reach out for help when you need it. There are thousands of mommy groups available for free, both in-person and online, so no matter where you are in the world you can connect with, vent to, and find support in other mamas. Also, don't forget to join MamaZen's Facebook community of supportive women! We're a collective group of mamas that uplift, inspire and help each other through the many perils of motherhood!
Above all, remember to have fun and soak in every moment! Time passes by so quickly, and children grow too fast. Enjoy them, and enjoy motherhood—you’re doing a great job!
Keep on smiling,
Irin is the Co-Founder and CEO of MamaZen and a calm and happy mom to her 2 daughters.
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