There are a few things that I’m pretty good at, like home organizing and baking, mostly because these are things I enjoy doing (not to mention I love to eat cake). There are also quite a few things that completely baffle me, like gardening (I can’t seem to keep flowers alive for very long) and things like knitting and crochet; sorry, I just don’t have the patience. However, when it comes to the thing that I am the absolute WORST at, it’s this little thing called self-love. If I were to place a wager, I would bet that I am not alone; I find that we moms are our own worst critics. 

When I first became a mom I was, of course, thrilled, and I was under the very common perception that it was time for me to take a backseat -- for the rest of my life. Unfortunately, this is how a lot of moms feel, but guess what? It’s actually not really how it’s supposed to be, no matter what you might be led to believe by stereotypes and social media. 

The reality is if we don’t take care of ourselves, moms, we can’t fully take care and appreciate the other people in our lives that mean so much to us. Trust me, it’s really really hard for me to take time out for me. I mean, really hard. It takes a lot of intentional planning for me to do something that is all about me, whether it’s a bubble bath or a solo walk around my block, I have to schedule it out or it won’t happen. 

Practicing self-love doesn’t have to be complicated, though, and you can do it in small snippets throughout your day to start to reshape the way you look at yourself, and how you view your level of importance within your family.  I know I get overwhelmed if I all of a sudden have a bunch of different strategies being thrown at me, so I want to keep this simple. 

So, here are three quick, but effective and special ways, that you can practice self-love right now.

• Applaud Yourself -- I used to be an actress and singer, now, when I’m not writing, I teach drama to amazing elementary and middle school students. As a performer, I got used to applause from others, but I rarely applauded myself. Now, as a mom, I know deep down that I need to be my own cheerleader, no matter what anybody else is saying or thinking, but man, it’s so hard to do!  However, we should be applauding ourselves, moms! You know why?  Because no matter how crazy things get, no matter how frustrated and stressed out we are, we are amazing because we are moms and we’re doing our best. Therefore, give yourself little pep talks throughout the day; tell yourself things like, “I got this!” instead of “I’m a failure.” 

Allow yourself to feel proud when you attain small victories, like remembering to wear matching shoes or hey, remembering to wear shoes at all. (Yes, I admit, our first pediatrician visit after my son was born, I was so proud that I had remembered to grab a jacket. Then my husband, very sweetly, asked me if I wanted to wear any shoes. I was just in socks and ready to walk out of the door. True story). You deserve to be applauded every day for all of the incredible things that you do, and you should absolutely applaud yourself!

• Schedule an Appointment with Yourself -- I’m not kidding. We have insanely busy schedules, moms, so pencil yourself in for an evening with a MamaZen session or ten minutes to enjoy a cup of hot tea while you read a few pages of your favorite book, or whatever it is that makes you happy.  For some reason, I have grown so accustomed to having so many different obligations, if I write something down it becomes more set in stone, and I have to do it. I decided to use this trait in my favor, and now I write down what it is that I will do for me.

• Share Your Plans of Self-Love -- I know, this one might seem a little strange at first glance. Let other people know you plan to practice self-love? Yes! Look at it this way, when you set a goal, let’s say losing five pounds, you tell other people about it. Once you’ve put it out there into the universe, it becomes more real, and others can help hold you accountable so that you stick to your plan and reach your goals. The concept of having accountability partners for everything from losing weight to being more productive at work is not a new idea, so go ahead and apply it to your practice of self-love; tell your spouse, your mom friends, your parents, your children, your hairdresser, you get the idea.

There you go, three quick, not overly-complicated or drawn-out, ways that you can start to practice self-love right away! It takes practice, but with repetition and consistency, you can start to re-frame how you feel about yourself. We can do it, moms!