My Unexpected Pregnancy

My pregnancy came unexpectedly, I was halfway across the world from home, in a fairly new relationship, and had no plans to become a mother until the faraway future. But all of a sudden it looked like it would be happening in less than 9 months time! I felt mixed emotions throughout my entire pregnancy, but ultimately could not wait to meet our new arrival!

Becoming a mother was really difficult. I didn’t suffer from postnatal depression, and I felt nothing but pure love for my daughter from the day that she was born. The problem lay in the expectations that I had for myself about what being a mother was supposed to look like. Something that I now understand to be a completely made-up and impossible scene.

I thought that I should be getting myself and the baby dressed every morning before 9am, that my house should be spotless and that I should be able to make dinner whilst looking after a newborn. After all, that’s exactly what other mums do, right?

I think one of the biggest problems was that I didn’t have any close friends who were also mothers, so I had nobody to turn to when faced with something new or a part of motherhood that I didn’t know how to handle. Instead, I turned to Instagram mums...well, that was potentially my biggest mistake. Seeing endless photos of clean houses, sleeping babies, and smiling faces made me feel as though I should be trying harder to achieve this kind of image in my own life.

During those first few months, I never asked for help - not even from my partner! Though that’s probably down to the control-freak side of my personality, it was definitely the opposite of helpful during that difficult time learning how to become a mum. I never slept when the baby slept, I rarely let her sleep on me, all for fear of wasting those precious couple of hours that I could be using cooking, cleaning, or replying to friends.

What I didn’t understand then is that all of this could wait. I was one of 3 adults living in the same house, and I would cook three meals a day, exclusively breastfeed my baby, put her down for naps, pick her up when she woke up, and keep the house clean. Oh how I wish I could go back and give those other two adults a stern talking to!

But you live and you learn, and there’s no bigger learning curve than becoming a mother! And to be completely honest, my experience only makes me incredibly excited for any future babies. Mostly for all of the time that I will spend on the sofa, in my pajamas, and watching Netflix for at least two months after their arrival.

MamaZen can help you to give up the need to control so that you can enjoy your children growing up - the time that I spend with my daughter feels even more valuable now that I’m not stressing about the next thing on my to-do list! Getting rid of the schedule has made both me, my partner, and my daughter much happier and more able to enjoy those special moments together.

Keira Shepherd

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